Discipline on my mind

Its Friday again so Mathéo is at daycare and I am having my coffee and blogging. This time drop of at daycare did not go as smooth. When he noticed I was leaving he cried so much it broke my heart. I had to call my own mum to calm myself.I was not hysterical, just a bit heartbroken of the thought that he might think I am leaving him and not coming back for him – I cannot thing of anything worst.

But I called them and they said he is better now, laughing and everything. So it feels much better now. After the drop off I had breakfast, talk to my sister and then I had booked a massage in the city. My body needed that. After the massage I had a lunch booked in with Ambrose. We had Sushi and talked talked how this was the first lunch with just the two of us for about one year hahah. Crazy.

No I am having a coffee, listening to music and soon about to go to my psychology appointment.

I never really know exactly what we are going to discuss. Usually it is about managing emotions, something that I have struggled with. Today I would love to talk about discipline. I randomly came across a video with a women called Teal Swan last night. I found it really interesting. I have before understood that people who procrastinate ( a form of lack of discipline I guess) are not just lazy. Procrastination can also be an indication of lack of belief in ones ability to get it done. So instead of give it a try, those people just dont even try. Having the core belief that ´there is no point, I will fail anyway´.

Is that not so interesting? Well, it is for me at least. Teal Swan is talking about the importance of discipline and that lacking that can mean that you somehow fail to depend on your own ability and instead rely too much on other people and the external world to feel complete. Wow.

Having kids is a great motivation. All I think about is that I want to be the best version of myself I can so I can be a great role model for my kids. The though of my children having to go through some of the unnecessary sadness I have in my life is non acceptably for me. I am all for life being a struggle sometimes and its necessary and that will make them grow and all sort of good things. But lets be honest, some shit is just SHIT. Independence, being able to rely on yourself ( as well on others) and being internally harmonious and happy is non negotiable. I will do anything to teach my children those important things. Somebody else can teach them the multiplication tables.

x