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Programming your brain using the “If Then Planning”
Went looking for a new car and we both fell in love with this collectors item
Here is a very interesting thing i recently learned about our brain and why we often feel insecure, vulnerable etc whenever we are taking on a massive change.
Examples such as starting dating after you’ve been heartbroken or your partner passed away. Deciding to run a whole marathon when you’ve never before exercised. Or dieting for the first time after a lifetime of obesity.
The reason why the change making you feel insecure and vulnerable is this ; anything that requires you to change your behavior and facing where you are and where/who you want to be caused massive stress in us. And the reason for this is because we focus on the gap between these two “people”. The one you are now, and the one you want to become.
The stress them pops into our head, we feel overwhelmed as our brain starts to focus on the huge amount of work it requires from us to go from one end of the spectrum to the next.This what 2 things that can help according to my latest idol Mel Robbins :
• Narrow your focus. This means that instead of focusing on the big and overwhelming picture, you focus on what you can do minute by minute. Focus on what you can do in this moment that would help you get from where you are now, till where you want to be.
• Find and write down your Triggers. In case of wanting to diet but you find yourself eating badly. Identify what triggers makes you reach for the food. Is it whenever you are in front of the TV? When you are bored? When you are stressed? Or maybe whenever you have an argument with your partner?
• Next you use something called “If Then Planning”. Psychologist Robert Cialdini suggests this in the case of weight loss : “If/when, after my business lunches, the server asks if I’d like to have dessert, then I will order mint tea.”
Here is how you use this: take your list of Triggers and simply add an “If then planning”.
Here is an example: If I feel bored, then I will go on a walk around the block. Or If I’ll watch TV, then I will have a tea in front of me.
You see, you replace your triggers with already made suggestions for your brain. You wont as easily fall into the trap of autopilot. Instead you are re-training your brain to associate TV with tea, boredom with short walks.And over time this becomes a natural response, soon you do this automatically.
You can find more on this topic in Business Insider AustraliaGive these a try and see how you go. And of course, you can apply these methods in all areas of your life ; work, health, productivity. Good luck. xx
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Book your wedding photographer
We have been going to a lot of weddings these last couple of years. I love weddings, everything about them makes me happy. Cant wait to start planning mine and Ambrose wedding. I already have a couple of details of what I want in my head. It will be in South of Europe. It will all be outdoor, it will be a very intimate wedding with only the absolute closest. My wedding dress will be a lot of lace, open back and I want to wear a veil.I still have most of it to decide but one decision that is made for sure for our wedding is the wedding photographer. Without a doubt I want my sister Hanie. The only thing is that I also want her as my bridesmaid and it would be nice if she could be a guest and not working on our wedding…..
But she is so good that I actually might have her work on that day. I don’t want to miss having the opportunity to get amazing wedding pictures. I mean, just look at her work!
If you want to book her for your special day, you can find more information on her web page : hanievaladi.photography
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Becoming better in small steps
This morning I came over this list from Wit & Delight which suggested a whole lot of small changes to implement over 30 days.
Some of them you might already do, I know I did. For example sitting at the bar ordering small plates. I have always done that, especially when I am eating alone I love sitting at the bar.You see, it is not always the major adjustments we make that changes our life’s for the better. If you want to change a habit or add a habit into your everyday life, research shows that you are better of doing it little by little everyday.
Like starting a Ritual. You can read more about it HERE in an earlier post I wrote.Here are some from the List that were the most appealing to me :
℘ Abandon social media for a day
℘ Unsubscribe instead of delete unwanted emails
℘ Say no to plans that don’t sound fun
℘ Put a water-glass by every sink and at your desk
℘ Get a lynda.com subscription and learn something weird or new
You can read the whole list HERE , maybe you will find something you like to add from this list that suits you better.
Good luck. xx_______________________________________________
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Margarita’s at Li’l Darling
Some of the team members from Life Changing Experiences FoundationMeet a couple of the lovely people who work with me at the place I volunteer – Life changing experiences Foundation. I often just call it Sister 2 Sister but that is just one part of our program.
Once a week we all go to Li’l Darling in Surry Hills and have one (or a couple) of margaritas. Don’t usually like margaritas but this place really make good ones. And it is not even an option in this group I think. When I started they called it “Margarita Tuesday” and every time I’ve been with them they all order only that – margaritas! Part of the couture at the office I guess 😉I had 2 the other day and felt drunk on the train back to the coast. I am not a great alcoholic I tell you that for sure.
Li’l Darling is in a couple of places in Sydney. Check them out HEREMost of this week has been really busy, Both I and Ambrose kind of crash on the couch because we have been so tired. We started watching this show called Black Mirror on Netflix which is super creepy and super great. We stared watching it because each one is like a short movie and that’s it. Neither of us want to commit to season after season so it fits us perfectly. Except the fact that we are kind of hooked now and we are already up to season 4 on this thing. So much for not committing to Netflix….
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Barcelona on my mind
These last few days my mind has been all about Barcelona. The reason for that is that I might have to fly 30 hours to Barcelona to literally pick up a piece of paper from the Spanish police, stating that I have not committed any crime while living in Spain. I know it sound stupid, I should be able to have that document sent to me but because I am not a Spanish citizen I cannot just get it from the Spanish consulate. Believe me, I have tried.
At first I was really upset, I kind of had enough with the Visa stuff lately and just knowing that I have to fly around the world to pick up this police clearance annoys me.
Ambrose think its funny and keep saying I should be excited because I get to go and enjoy Barcelona. Which is true, but what nobody seems to get is that I am so fed up with this “gypsy life”. I just want one country, one house, one bank in one country and all of those “normal” stuff everyone else have.
Trust me, when you are dealing with everyday situations such as insurance, Dr visits, banks loans, and everything entitling the government or consulates. You want to be in one place!But!! I get to visit my friends and family in a city that I called home for over 5 years. And I am in love with this city. How could you not love Barcelona?!
Some memories……
These who pictures sums up perfectly a Barcelona day. Rooftop pool during the day, tapas in El Borne by night. Well during the weekends at least
My birthday many years ago. The theme was Black & White. Here with Montse, Lulu, me, Hanna, Lucy and Sophie
After I lived abroad for 7 years (!) my best friends from Sweden came to visit. So much happened during those 10 days haha. Here with Suzy, Peppi, me, Åsa, Annie and Mikaela 
My last work lunch at TMC. Best workplace ever. I will definitely visit the office when I am back
Strolling around the old town is one of my favorite activity in Barcelona. Getting lost for hours is a must while visiting this city for sure.
Chiringuitos – eating and drinking on the beach. Another Barcelona must according to me.
Check out this list to find some of the good ones HERE
One thing you do a lot in Barcelona is having a drink at a rooftop. There are so many of them so just take your pick. Here on one of my favorites that I always brought friends visiting me – Hotel1898 
Oh God, just realized that all the pictures are being out eating and drinking. But it was like that back in the Barcelona days. Also, I must mention that this was my University years. Guess Uni time is party period for most people haha
This is from my last day living in Barcelona. I remember this as one of my most fun and memorable night in Barcelona.After writing this post I am actually excited to fly to Barcelona. Cant wait to tell everyone I am coming.
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The cultural clash reunion
One normal picture. And that’s because Javier took it on his phone and sent it to me. Dinner at the Greek restaurant Xenos. Very charming place in Crows Nest. Always vibrant which I like.
We could not stop laughing. My camera keeps making these weird pictures where everyone looks, well not great….
After drinks comes dinner and after dinner comes Gelato. A must if you are hanging out with Ambrose.
But this is not your ordinary ice-cream place. This is heaven in you are into ice creams. Or any sweets, they have cronut’s or croissants with ice cream inside…just saying. The place is calles C9 Chocolate & Gelato. Just go there.
Last night we had a proper reunion with some of the old Barcelona crew. Started with an after-work in Crows News and I could not help but t feel like its was like the good old days in Barcelona. It’s such a cultural thing, and of course it helps when you live in a country where the weather actually “welcomes” you to make plans and do something after work.
Yesterday during drinks we were actually discussing the cultural differences we experience.
For example the difference between Swedes and Australians. Swedish people tend to be more direct. In Sweden it is socially accepted to answer your phone with a ” Hello”. Not in Australia. I remember Ambrose being so shocked when he heard me answer my phone. Australians answer more like ; ” Nicci Speaking”.
Another example was asking for something in a store. In Sweden you go to the store attendee and you can say; Hi, shoes? with a smile of course. That means Hi, please tell me where I can find the shoe section in this store. In Australia life is not this easy. Here you have to go; G’day mate! How y’a going?! I am interested in maybe buying myself some shoes. If there is no troubles, would you please help me to find where your shoe section is located bla bla bla……I mean, who the F*#@k has the time and energy for these kinds of conversations?? Am I wrong? Or have I perhaps too many years in Sweden, becoming a cold and too direct person. I don’t know. Somethings I actually think I moved around too much so now I have a little bit of one too many cultures in my brain. So I am not good in any country!
Okey, back to our evening. Ambrose came after work and so did Ninnie and Javier. I used to work with the two of them back in Barcelona when I worked for TMC. Great memories so it was really great to get a full night with them, just like back in the days.
I can’t wait when we get this whole partner Visa done and we go visit Europe. I am trying to convince Ambrose to do a summer trip this time. I want to show him my favorite spots in Europe, and visit new places that neither of us has been too. Like Croatia and Turkey.
And of course Barcelona. That city will forever be one of my favorite homes in the world.
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Two shadows at Pearl Beach
Pearl beach. One of my favorites up here at the coast. I like the glow of the sand, makes it look like tiny pieces of gold.
This was on Sunday and whenever Ambrose has time off we are basically on a hunt for waves. And this Sunday was no exception.I don’t mind it usually because I am normally swimming around and body surfing anyway. The only time it gets annoying is if I am done with the whole beach thing and I cannot get a hold of him because he is far out in the water. And I have the car keys, his wallet, both our phones so it’s not like I can leave, how would he find me ?
Might leave a note in the sand from now on; “Got bored, at the cafe on top of the hill. See ya”The normal solution would be to learn how to surf……I tried teaching me one time and it was like I was in the army so I quit. I did not even understand half the things he was talking about. Did you guys know that in Australia you get down on your knees and grab hold of the sand with your hands when a big wave comes over you?! What?
I miss the good old beaches in south of Europe where there is little or no action. Here its a constant fight for survival in the ocean. Don’t get me wrong, I think its much more fun to be in the ocean when there is a bit wavy. But not those that you need to know trick in order to escape death… just saying.
As I was saying a long time ago, Pearl Beach is beautiful, golden and often quite.We were there in the afternoon but there were no one there. We had the whole beach to yourself. There is not alot of surf here usually, so if you are after that Avoca Beach might be a better option.
Ciao for now. xx
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Baha’i House of worship – A Persian gift to Australia
The other day, after driving back to the coast from another event in Sydney, we drove by this beautiful building. We decided to stop and have a look. I hate those times when you say ; “maybe next time”. That almost never happens, at least not for us.
As we walked towards this beautiful temple we were approached by a lovely guide who told us more about it. Apparently this is called Baha’i House of Worship. It is a temple given to Australia as a gift by Persia.
As the guide was showing us around the temple I tried to make a joke to Ambrose, that I (Persian) was a gift to him (Australia) He did not laugh. hahah. I thought it was such a good one myself!
The temple is as beautiful inside as it was on the outside. It is not much inside, just a couple of chairs and some large flower arrangements. I think they like to keep it simple. People go there mostly to meditate the guide told us. So that’s what we did. Well for a short time at least, I cant get Ambrose to sit still doing nothing for a very long time.
The only rules was that you could not take any pictures if any other person was in the temple. I waited for bit and then we took a couple of pictures of this gorgeous building. Such a nice gift!
If you guys want to find out more you can to so HERE
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